Many of us are hoarders, not of material possession but of memories and emotions. We all carry the baggage of our embarrassing and traumatic experiences and hurtful disagreements that we become used to live under their burden. What happens as a result—the scars of the past remain fresh, depression begins to haunt you, and happiness becomes a thing of the past.
Carrying your emotional baggage is like keeping your one foot in the past, one in the present, only to fall flat on your face. If you too are unable to unload the emotional baggage and unpack the tightly bound suitcase of hurtful memories and emotions, here’s how to dump the emotional baggage to make new memories in life.
If you’re feeling guilty
To err is human but to constantly feel guilty for your mistakes and bad decisions is not right either. If you have hurt someone, recognise your fault, accept, and apologise. Once this is done, look inwards and forgive yourself too.
Try a change of perspective. Talk to someone, a friend you trust, or an expert. Sharing lightens the burden. Create a ritual that helps you distance yourself from the guilt. Repeat a positive affirmation, or simply sit and self-reflect. Ask yourself what is the reason behind your guilt. Delve deeper into your subconscious mind. Once you have reached the roots of your worry, address the real problem.
If you’re full of regret
We all make decisions that often lead to regret. It happens to each of us. It’s okay to feel regret and grief, but don’t fall in their pit. Don’t waste time imagining the “What ifs” and “could haves”; it would lead you nowhere. Think of all the positives that came out of the situation, even if it is just a lesson. Learn from the mistake and move on.
If you’re still angry over the past
Several things evoke anger—people, experiences, setbacks. Anger is a natural reaction, but you need to learn how to process it constructively.
Recognise the source of your anger, and address it with compassion and kindness. Practice relaxation techniques like meditation to bring stillness to your mind. When angry, do not act on your impulses or take hasty decisions. Take a few deep breaths and let the moment pass. That’s all it takes to subside anger.
The first step in the healing journey is to accept reality and forgive yourself for the unfortunate outcome.
If you can’t let go of a past relationship
Romantic or not, relationships are important but they don’t always work out the way we want them to. Some relationships end on a bad note—emotionally and mentally damaging the individuals involved.
Holding on to the memories of a broken relationship can leave scars on your mental wellbeing; causing trauma, depression, and inability to focus. The first step in the healing journey is to accept reality and forgive yourself for the unfortunate outcome. Tell yourself it wasn’t anyone’s fault. Sometimes, bad things happen to good people. Instead of looking back, live in the present, and plan a better future.
If you are living in paranoia
Do you fear that everything will end badly just because it happened once? Living in the fear of uncertainty is like standing on a field of quicksand. The more your fear, the deeper you will feel stuck in life.
The first step to overpower your paranoia is to be more aware of what triggers your fear and negativity. Ask yourself if you are overthinking, trying to connect the dots that aren’t there. Next, analyse your emotional responses to the triggers and try to channelise them in a positive direction. Questioning yourself every time you exhibit negative behaviour, and using meditation and deep breathing techniques to regain your state of calmness can help you rise above your fears in life.
If you’re feeling negative
Do you always expect the worst in life? Having a negative outlook only leads to the path of hurt and disappointment. Your negative emotions can affect your confidence and forever trap you in a vicious circle of worry and fear. Part of growing up is to learn how to channel your negative emotions. It is the key to a successful career, lasting relationships, and a life filled with happiness.
An easy way to get rid of your negative emotions is to replace them with positive ones. For this, do more of what you like. Whether it’s playing a musical instrument, cooking, running, or taking a walk in nature—practice self-care to leave no room for negative emotions.
Recognize your fault, apologize, and forgive yourself. Address the root of your guilt and work on resolving the underlying problem.
Accept that regrets happen to everyone. Focus on the positives that came out of the situation, even if it’s just a lesson learned. Avoid dwelling on “what ifs” and redirect your energy towards personal growth and moving forward.
Identify the source of your anger and approach it with compassion and kindness. Practice relaxation techniques like meditation, take deep breaths and avoid impulsive actions.
Accept the reality of the situation and forgive yourself. Remind yourself that sometimes things don’t work out despite your best efforts.
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