How to let go of your past and move on in life

Why is it so difficult to let go of past experiences that have caused us pain and suffering? We often find negative memories from the past coming back to haunt us. The memories of a toxic relationship, the loss of a loved one, a severe trauma, or other kinds of emotional pain can make you a prisoner of your own mind. You keep revisiting these events because they often remain unresolved, misunderstood or unaccepted in your mind.

In some cases, however, the past can impact your life in positive ways, too. It can help you reevaluate your actions and stop you from making the same mistakes in the future. The key is to let go of the experience, but hold on to the lesson. You can break free from the shackles of the past and live freely in the present by adopting some habits that encourage you to focus on the ‘here and now,’ while at the same time help you gain clarity on your future goals.

Here are some effective ways you can liberate yourself from the clutches of your past.

Take responsibility for your mistakes

The first step towards letting go of the past is to confront unresolved painful memories. This is possible when you are willing to accept your mistakes, evaluate what went wrong, and learn from the experience. This approach will help you develop a positive outlook and inspire you to take ownership of your mistakes, thus helping you to move on.

Assess your negative emotions

Reflect on your past and narrow down on factors that are holding you back. These could be shame, guilt, regret, anger, lack of motivation and self-doubt. Evaluate the root cause of these negative emotions. Challenging your deep-rooted beliefs and influences can help you move on in life. Oftentimes, we make a mountain out of a molehill by overthinking a situation. Instead, looking at the past through the lens of objectivity and optimism can enable you to identify the real issue—however small or big—and resolve it.

Focus on self-improvement

Developing a habit of learning from your failures makes you stronger and more grounded as you go. And while it may not eliminate your negative feelings from the past, it can certainly prevent things from deteriorating in the future. Train your mind to be inspired, energetic and happy. Make an action plan and break each objective into smaller, quantifiable steps. Creating tangible goals will increase your chances of success in the future. Make self-improvement your priority and try to accomplish something every day to take you closer to your goals.

Live in the present

Focus on living in your present and planning for the future. The best way forward is to involve yourself in something you are passionate and enthusiastic about. For instance, take up a new hobby or volunteering activity that you find fulfilling. Keep yourself active and appreciate the little joys of life. Go on adventures, make new friends or get involved in causes you believe in. Whatever it is, just focus on living in the moment. Even when unpleasant memories from the past creep in, make a conscious effort to bring yourself back into the present moment. Research demonstrates that “characteristically thinking about the past is disadvantageous, thinking about the future is advantageous, and thinking about the present has mixed outcomes.”