Stop chasing happiness, do this instead: Lessons from The Happiness Trap

We all seek happiness in different ways. Some of us find joy through our work, striving for fulfillment and success in our careers. Others might chase happiness through hobbies and tiny pleasures, finding contentment in activities that bring them joy. Regardless of where we look, pursuing happiness is a common thread in our lives, shaping how we experience each day. But what if this pursuit of happiness makes us overlook what’s actually present and important? What if chasing happiness takes us off track? That is what Dr Russ Harris explores in his book The Happiness Trap.

Dr Harris offers his research and insight into this quest for happiness humans have. A therapist and author known for his expertise in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), a modern psychological approach that helps people develop a richer and more meaningful life, Dr Harris’ book helps us understand happiness better. It shares how our attempts to find joy sometimes takes us off track. By addressing common misconceptions and offering effective approaches, he offers practical ways to find a truer sense of wellbeing.

So, join us as we explore the lessons we can learn from The Happiness Trap and navigate our paths to happiness more effectively.

Accept, don’t avoid

Many of us struggle with negative thoughts from our past, like memories of someone who was rude to us or betrayed us in some manner. These thoughts can be painful and often affect how we feel whenever we come across similar situations. One of the core lessons from The Happiness Trap is the importance of accepting these uncomfortable thoughts and feelings rather than trying to avoid or suppress them. Dr Harris explains that fighting against negative emotions is futile. Instead, he suggests that we embrace these feelings with mindfulness and compassion. By accepting our internal experiences without judgment, we can lessen their impact and develop a more balanced mindset.

Focus on values, not just goals

We all have goals that we aim to achieve and sometimes, some of us tend to sacrifice our values to reach them. While goals can be motivating and direction-giving, they often focus on short-term outcomes. In his book The Happiness Trap, Dr Harris highlights the importance of focusing on our values instead of just setting goals.

Unlike goals, which are often about achieving specific results, values are about the kind of person we want to be and how we want to live. By making sure our daily actions align with our core values, we can find lasting happiness while achieving most of our goals.

Practice mindfulness

It is common knowledge that everything is happening in the present moment, but often, we find ourselves dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. In The Happiness Trap, the author talks about how mindfulness is key to lasting happiness. Dr Harris explains that practising mindfulness helps us stay present and fully engaged in the here and now, rather than being overwhelmed by regrets or anxieties.

Techniques like focused breathing and observing our thoughts without judgment help us handle life’s challenges with greater clarity and calmness. Staying grounded in the present can also help us achieve a balanced state of mind, free from anxieties of past or future.

Break the cycle of negative self-talk

Negative self-talk is something a lot of us are guilty of. And it can be extremely harmful too, causing us to miss out on opportunities and leading us to live less fulfilling lives. When we constantly criticize ourselves, we undermine our confidence and limit our potential. An important lesson from The Happiness Trap is learning to break free from this cycle of negative self-talk.

Dr Harris points out that our inner dialogue can often be harsh, and that by recognising and challenging these negative thoughts, we can start to change how we see ourselves. This shift towards a more positive inner narrative can improve our overall mental wellbeing.

Commit to action despite fear

Dr Harris encourages his readers to take action toward their goals and values even in the presence of fear or discomfort. The book teaches us that fear and anxiety are a natural part of pursuing meaningful changes, but they should not be a barrier towards meaningful action. By committing to small, consistent steps towards what matters most to us, despite our fears, we can overcome obstacles and create a life that is rich in purpose and satisfaction.

The Happiness Trap is, in a nutshell, a happiness book that offers insights into understanding and navigating our pursuit of happiness. By embracing acceptance over avoidance, focusing on our core values, practising mindfulness, addressing negative self-talk and committing to action despite fear, Dr Russ Harris provides a roadmap to achieving a more genuine and lasting sense of wellbeing. As we apply these principles little by little daily, we can move beyond the superficial quest for happiness and cultivate a more fulfilling and meaningful life.