4 Stages of Forgiveness: From Hurt to Healing

Passing the four stages of forgiveness

I am anxious to make friends with the person who hurt me, I invite him into my life. I share my love with him and we both move to a new and healed relationship.

To arrive at forgiveness, one has to pass through four stages.

The first is the stage of hurt. Someone has wronged me, done something mean to me. Someone has been unfair to me and I cannot forget it. I feel hurt. The hurt keeps on throbbing within me. It is here that we must remember that it is not I who feels hurt, but the ego. Those that are at this stage naturally hold grudges, not realising that the person who holds a grudge injures himself more than the one against whom the grudge is held.

Hurt  leads  to  hate,  which  is  the  second  stage.  I  cannot  forget  how  much  I  have been  hurt and I cannot send out thoughts of goodwill to my enemy. In some cases, I hate the person so much that I want him or her to suffer, as much as I am suffering.

Then comes the third stage of healing. God’s grace descends on me and I begin to see the person  who  has  hurt  me  in  a  new  light.  I  begin  to  understand  his  or  her  difficulty.  My memory is healed and I am free again.

Then  comes  the  fourth  stage  of  coming  together.  I  am  anxious  to  make  friends  with  the person who hurt me, I invite him into my life. I share my love with him and we both move to a new and healed relationship.

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