Words once spoken cannot be taken back. When tempers flare and misunderstandings take centre stage, we often end up saying damaging words to our partners. The emotional scar caused during such outbursts can permanently sever our relationships. The way we speak and our attitude impact our relationships in more ways than one. Thankfully, it is never too late to master the art of communication, which is the backbone of every strong relationship.
It begins with getting in touch with our own feelings, Sarah Calvert, a relationship therapist, tells The Guardian. “Otherwise, you won’t be able to say what we need and what we want. Good communication fosters emotional intimacy, which can lead to greater feelings of fulfilment, understanding, and safety,” she says. Moreover, a healthy conversation allows the flow of positive thoughts and emotions, which makes it easier for couples to deal with conflicts, move past misunderstandings, and build a strong, harmonious relationship. So, if you are looking to improve your communication with your partner, here are a few ways to accomplish it.
Learn to listen
Communication is all about listening to your partner. But learning this skill is not as easy as it sounds. During an argument, you may find it hard to control your own thoughts, but making an honest effort to do so always counts. Practicing active listening, a soft skill that teaches you to put all your focus on your partner while they speak, can go miles in improving communication. Research conducted by the United States Institute of Peace suggests that active listening can improve mutual understanding between people. When you make eye contact, nod, and smile, it makes your partner feel validated and they know you are paying attention to them.
Do not blame or accuse
How you say something is just as important as what you say. Hence, blaming your partner or making accusations can lead to relationship distress. Saying things like, “You never…”, “You always…”, or “It’s your fault…” in an argument with your partner can make them feel hostile. No one likes to be berated or judged harshly. Instead, replace those phrases with “I feel hurt when you…” or “I am upset because…” to communicate your needs effectively without belittling each other.
Learn to listen, do not blame or accuse, do not make assumptions, be honest and open, show that you care, and learn to let things go.
Listening actively and attentively to your partner demonstrates respect and understanding. By giving them your full attention, you create a space where they feel heard and valued.
Avoiding blame and accusations promotes a non-confrontational environment. Instead of assigning fault, focus on expressing your feelings and thoughts in a constructive manner.
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