Beware of love bombing: 7 red flags to recognise this relationship monster

I love everything about you…
I have never met anyone perfect as you…
You’re the only one I want to spend time with…
Your love makes me do crazy things…

Sounds familiar? In the beginning of any romantic relationship, it’s thrilling to hear such passionate words. The butterflies in your stomach and the feeling of being cherished can make everything seem magical. And why wouldn’t it? After all, it feels wonderful to be loved and made to feel special, especially when someone expresses their affection in such grand ways. However, one must be cautious. Although these words of affection and love can feel exciting, they may also mask something more troubling: love bombing.

Love bombing is when someone overwhelms you with affection and attention to gain control over you. And such behaviour can quickly turn into manipulation and emotional pain. According to Nicole Arzt, a licensed marriage and family therapist, “Love bombing is rarely innocent or benign. Instead, it often leads to complicated consequences for you and your other relationships. Learning the warning signs and seeking help can make a tremendous difference in how you feel.”

In fact, the sooner you can recognise the red flags, the better you can protect yourself from heartache and emotional pain. So, join us as we delve into the signs of love bombing and how to safeguard against it.

Over-the-top displays of affection

All of us get influenced by movies from time to time. We often dream about a romance where someone would sweep us off our feet. When this dream-like scenario plays out in real life, it tends to feel magical. However, sometimes this intense and fast romance might be a sign of love bombing.

A common sign of love bombing is the tendency to make grand gestures of love. This could be anything from extravagant gifts to passionate declarations. Such behaviour often aims to create a sense of obligation or make us feel like we owe them something in return.

It is important to remind ourselves of two things at such a juncture—that true love happens gradually and it should never come with strings attached.

Constant communication

“Hey, I was thinking of you. You have been on my mind all day. Maybe you should come to your window, because I am here, surprise!”

Text messages and DMs like these can seem sweet at first, but it’s important to pay attention to the frequency and tone of these messages. When someone is love bombing you, they often want to stay in touch all the time. This means sending numerous texts, making frequent phone calls or insisting that you share your current location with them. While staying connected can be nice, excessive communication tends to become invasive.

If you find yourself feeling pressured to respond immediately or to constantly update them on where you are and what you are doing, it’s a clear sign that something is off. Remember, healthy relationships provide you with space and independence to breathe and grow.

Lavish gifts

Frequent lavish gifts are another sure sign of love bombing. For instance, maybe you’ve just met this person and it’s barely been a few days, but suddenly, a bunch of roses arrive at your home. At first, it seems romantic and exciting. However, the pattern of grand gestures and gifts continue—this kind of gifting may be a sign of manipulation. If someone showers you with expensive gifts right from the start, it’s important to think about their intentions.

Receiving too many gifts, too often or whenever they feel unnecessary to you, can create an uncomfortable situation. It might lead to you feeling pressured to respond in kind, something that’s unnatural and an imposition at worst. In short, these gifts may be used to manipulate you into feeling grateful or in debt.

It is essential to remember that genuine affection is never measured by material possessions.

Disregard for boundaries

Healthy relationships require respect for personal boundaries of both individuals involved. If your partner repeatedly ignores the limits you’ve set for yourself, it can be termed as a red flag. Things like pushing you to share more than you’re comfortable with, trying to dictate how you spend your time or who you spend your time with shows a lack of regard for your feelings. When someone disrespects your boundaries, it also tells you how highly or lowly they hold you.

Mutual respect is important for any relationship and without it, any connection can become toxic.

Overwhelming praise

Excessive flattery can also indicate love bombing. If your partner frequently uses exaggerated compliments and tries to create an unrealistic image of you by saying things like, “Do you even have any flaws? You are perfect! I love everything about you,” it means they are trying to overwhelm you with niceties. This kind of praise can be manipulative, aiming to boost your self-esteem and consequently making you feel dependent on their approval.

It is important to remember that healthy compliments are sincere and balanced and are never aimed at gaining control over your emotions.

Extreme jealousy

Another sign of love bombing is jealousy. Partners who engage in love bombing often get irritated and jealous easily, especially when you want to spend time with your family or friends. Their extreme reactions to your meetings and associations can eventually make you feel uncomfortable and annoyed. What is even worse is that their possessive behaviour can eventually isolate you from your support system.

It is essential to remember that a healthy partner encourages your relationships with others and trusts you. A healthy romantic relationship should make you feel free and supported, not trapped or controlled.

Excessive control

A desire to control various aspects of your life such as dictating who you should spend time with, what you should wear or how you should behave is a telling sign of love bombing. Controlling behaviour such as this often aims to make you feel dependent on your partner’s approval. If you repeatedly feel like you’re being moulded into someone else’s idea of perfection, it’s a clear red flag.

We live in an era of complex relationships and it’s easy to confuse certain behaviours. Love bombing especially, is a dangerous concept because it looks like care. Recognising the signs of love bombing is of utmost importance for maintaining healthy relationships. If you notice multiple red flags, it might be time to reassess your relationship and understand if you are being manipulated.

You deserve a love that is genuine, one that is built on trust and respect, not manipulation or control.