Empathy and sympathy: Two abilities essential for human wellbeing and understand

I vividly remember the day when a close friend, Amar, reached out to me, clearly in distress. His face wore a heavy expression and it was evident that something was troubling him deeply. As we sat in a quiet corner of our favourite café, he began pouring his heart out about the challenges he was facing in his personal life. I could feel the weight of his pain and confusion but as Amar continued to share his story, I found myself in an unfamiliar position. Despite my genuine concern and desire to comfort him, I realised that I couldn’t fully grasp the depth of his emotions. I was at a loss for words, unsure of how to provide solace or guidance to him.

I however understood that sympathy would not have been enough in the given situation. If I had expressed only sympathy, it would’ve ended up with me showing pity for his situation and offering well-intentioned but lesser words of comfort. Instead, I realised what Amar truly needed was empathy—a genuine attempt by a friend to understand his feelings and to provide a supportive presence without judgement.

This personal experience ignited my curiosity to explore the nuances of empathy and sympathy and the significant impact they can have on our relationships and the way we connect with others. Join us as we explore the difference between empathy and sympathy and understand which to express during specific situations.

Empathy vs. sympathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings and emotions of another person. It involves putting ourselves in someone else’s place and experiencing their emotions. It’s a deep, emotional connection that allows us to truly grasp what someone is going through.

Sympathy, on the other hand, is the act of acknowledging someone’s suffering or distress without necessarily understanding or feeling the same emotions. It often involves offering support, consolation or pity from a more detached standpoint.

For instance, when your friend tells you she has been laid off from her company, you try and empathise with her – understand how she must be feeling and share a kind word. However if your friend tells you about how she lost her pet dog to old age, you sympathise with her pained heart and hurting family. 

Emotional connect: Going beyond understanding

Empathy creates a strong emotional connection between individuals. When you empathise with someone, you not only understand their feelings but also share in their emotional experience. It doesn’t mean you have to undergo the same situation, you simply have to think from their standpoint. Having a stern boss, being stuck in traffic everyday, not having friends in a new city, these are all situations you can put yourself mentally in to empathise with another.

This deep connection can foster trust, compassion and a sense of being truly heard and validated. While sympathy shows concern and kindness, it doesn’t necessarily create the same level of emotional connection as empathy. It may offer comfort and support, but it often lacks the depth of understanding and a warmth that empathy provides.

Validation vs. pity: Impact on relationships

Empathetic responses validate the receiver’s emotions and experiences. When you respond with empathy, you communicate that you see and understand their feelings, which can be incredibly validating and comforting. It strengthens relationships and builds trust in the long run.

Sympathetic responses can sometimes come across as pity, which may unintentionally diminish a person’s feelings. Remember, sympathy involves offering of support too but it can sometimes miss the mark in validating the depth of someone’s emotions.

It is all about understanding a specific situation and understanding what is required of it.

Practical vs. emotional support: Meeting different needs

Empathy focusses on providing emotional support by genuinely connecting with someone’s feelings. It involves active listening, offering a shoulder to lean on and showing understanding of the situation. It’s about being present with the person in their emotional state.

Sympathy typically provides more practical support, such as offering help or solutions to alleviate someone’s suffering. While this can be helpful, it may not address the emotional needs of the person as effectively as empathy does. That said, sympathy is extremely important, especially in situations of grief.

Both empathy and sympathy have their places in human interactions, but understanding their difference is essential. Empathy creates deep emotional connections and validates experiences, while sympathy offers support from a more detached perspective. Recognizing when to employ each can lead to a more meaningful and compassionate relationship with others, be it in one’s personal or professional life.