Once in every four years, we are delighted by FIFA world cup football. My favourite scene from these soccer matches is when the teams huddle together. They get together and give each other a quick pep talk to reboot and charge up at a crucial juncture in the match.
Even we do this often. Before an important presentation or before kick-starting a challenging day, we speak to ourselves. To prepare for and face the situation calmly and in best of spirits. After all, it is not possible to find a friend or guardian to enthuse us with their words every time we are down.
To regain the zeal to work hard and to infuse enthusiasm in the mundane and carry out activities with confidence, a pep-talk sometimes becomes important. Our belief in our self may shake at times due to external and internal turmoil. Reinforcing that belief to do better and counting our accomplishments is one of the main ingredients of a pep-talk.
To close our eyes, indulge in a dialogue with the self to bring back motivation and restore the faith shaken by umpteen volleys that life keeps throwing our way is how a pep-talk works.
In life, we are our own best friends. More than anybody else, we trust ourselves. It’s the inner voice that matters. “What we colloquially refer to as pep talks are most often called self-talk in the scientific literature,” says Benjamin D Rosenberg, a professor of psychology at Dominican University. Indeed, when the going gets tough, some of us rely on our inner voice by default for direction. The internal dialogues we use for different challenging situations make a world of difference. You don’t need to necessarily be standing in front of a mirror and talking to yourself as one can initiate self-dialogue with closed eyes or by sitting in an isolated corner too.
Reinforces self-belief
Let us face it, we all have our ups and downs. When we are on a downward spiral, our self-belief gets replaced by self-doubt. At this point, reminding ourselves that we can turn the situation around fills us with enough confidence to take on the challenge head-on.
Talking to ourselves in a positive manner has a remarkable effect on our self-confidence. Rather than being overwhelmed, we gain a control over the situation by initiating this self-dialogue. There are phases when we lose confidence and self-doubt takes over. While it may be a good idea to just step away for a while, pep talks reassure we get back our will power and determination. So whenever one is feeling shaky and faith seems elusive, patting and reassuring oneself can be the best bet.
Treat yourself with self-compassion
There are times when the world seems too critical of us. Often, people we trust or depend on hurt us, unintentionally or otherwise. This does not mean we become self-critical or harsh on our self. If one pauses to take a closer look, one finds that we tend to question ourselves and our abilities a little too much. Instead, one should try the opposite; be ‘nice to yourself’ to reboot and get back on the path of growth and seeking.
Listen to others, take their feedback, internalize and improvise. But never let your intrinsic and basic values get distorted due to others’ views of you. When the outside offers too much criticality or negativity, a self-loving, compassionate talk is what you need to reclaim yourself.
Enlisting one’s strengths is a sure shot way to rejuvenate. Being compassionate towards one’s self lays the foundation of how we interact with others. So learn to pat yourself on the back for every accomplishment, big or small to boost confidence and strengthen the resolve to do better.
Work for short and long goals
Just before giving an interview for which you have left no stone unturned in preparing, a debilitating wave of nervousness or anxiety strikes. You say to yourself a few words of reassurance and remember all the hard work you have put in. This action is enough to face the panel with a renewed confidence.
A pep talk may be your best bet even for long term goals you have set for yourself. For instance, if you have invested your time, energy and utmost dedication in a project which is taking longer than expected, it will require extraordinary grit and patience to sustain yourself. A periodical pep talk will keep you focused on the goal undeterred.
Similarly, in moments of crisis when there seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel, just reiterating that this too shall pass, will have a transformative effect. A good example of this is when someone is frightened, say of a medical procedure; reassuring oneself that they will come out of it better and strong helps immensely.
There could be intense moments of anger too, caused by work or one’s complex relationships – in such cases, the simple and quick act of mustering courage and patience to not react instantly can save catastrophic results.
Address weaknesses
Most of us know our fears, anxieties, weaknesses but we keep brushing them under carpet. Here, a pep talk helps us address our flaws in an effective way. Learn to say, ‘Yes, you can do it’ before taking that solo flight you always dreaded. Or before delivering that brilliant presentation you prepared despite several hiccups.
Since we know our strengths and weaknesses, when we start honestly addressing these areas of concerns, it leads to a leap of faith. The success that comes after conquering one’s weaknesses truly catapults one’s growth and journey.
We are our own best critics. We may not be able to bare our souls completely to even our most loved ones. So the way lies in how we address ourselves and talk ourselves out of any crisis.
Make that pep talk work for you in daily life – be it one extra set of exercises every day or huge goals like personality development, talking and cheering oneself has amazing results in the long run!
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