How to find happiness? 7 things that are roadblocks to your happiness

Everybody seems to be running behind happiness and yet, it remains as elusive as a mirage. Defined as a positive emotional condition that forms the objective of most of our positive efforts, happiness is what keeps us hustling in life. For some, relishing delicious food, watching a delightful backfoot punch by Sachin Tendulkar, listening to mellifluous rendering of flute by Hariprasad Chaurasia have the potential to make them happy. While for others, happiness is equal to owning swanky cars, expensive jewellery and travelling to foreign lands. So one might say that happiness is subjective; some may feel happy with materialistic additions while others feel ecstasy simply listening to a shepherd boy singing.

So how to find this fleeting thing called happiness? Interestingly, the basic knowledge of human psychology can help find answers, but one thing is for sure that happiness cannot be derived from external sources alone. Realisation of inner-peace and emotional equanimity is a significant step in the journey towards happiness. The pursuit of happiness without understanding it or the means to realise it may result in utter disappointment. Many roadblocks in the path towards happiness emerge owing to our failure to develop a positive perspective towards life.

Here, Soulveda helps identify the things that are roadblocks to one’s happiness.

The malady of comparison

‘Comparison is odious’, this English phrase cautions us that indulging in unnecessary comparison deprives one of joy and results in unpleasant consequences.

Owing to technology, we stay regularly updated on the personal and professional lives of our friends and relatives. As most people share information only about the shining moments of their life on social media platforms and conceal their struggles, setbacks and failures, viewing such posts give only a partial view of their life. And yet, such posts often compel us to believe that others are luckier than us.

While it is okay to assess strengths and shortcomings with that of others, one should also identify the effort the other person has put in to achieve that success. If one must copy, it should be the determination for a similar toil.

The world over, the skill, aptitude and inclination of each person differs from the other. In a classroom, some students may be good in numerical skills, some in analytical skills, some in oratory skills while some might be gifted with excellent leadership ability. Individuals gifted with different talents contribute to society’s progress in their own way. If you start appreciating the fact that diversity is the way of the world and acknowledge that every individual has unique abilities as well as shortcomings, you will learn to stop comparing.

Delay in problem identification

If eating plenty in the festival season has resulted in problems like constipation or a bloated stomach due to which you are unable to execute day-to-day work in an efficient manner, it is important to visit a doctor immediately. By taking the medicines prescribed by the doctor, you can recover fast. Further, by making necessary changes in your lifestyle like consuming healthy food and doing physical activities, you can keep such health problems at bay. In this instance, a delay in visiting the doctor could have aggravated the problem.

Similarly, the negligence we display in fixing issues that bother us at the workplace or in relationships deprive us of happiness and peace of mind. So, it is necessary to identify the problem at the earliest. It is only when we do so that we can take necessary steps to resolve them. Managing obstacles, one step at a time, is a sure path to happiness even if it doesn’t seem so in the beginning.

Unrealistic expectations

Unrealistic expectations tend to insulate us from the realities of life. Expectations like everyone should appreciate us, people should agree to our opinions and that our ventures should click without much effort are unrealistic. Such expectations will only demoralize and disappoint us in the long run.

Happiness can be found when one stops playing peek a boo with unrealistic expectations. Being aware of our limits, in the sense that we realize we don’t have control over the behaviour of others helps set realistic expectations.

By letting go of things beyond our control and by developing a realistic perspective towards life, we begin a fascinating journey of self-improvement. Discarding unrealistic expectations broadens our worldview which allows us to accept the diverse opinions and criticisms of others. Once we learn to adapt to changes, we begin to figure what happiness really is.

Low self-esteem

Low self-esteem is often called the antithesis to happiness. Low self-esteem refers to negative opinions one forms about their own abilities. Having apprehension on one’s own competencies holds one back and prevents them from surging ahead towards achieving goals and ambitions.

This problem can be tackled by recognizing one’s strengths and abilities instead. For instance, if you are facing paucity of motivation to achieve professional goals, try and remember that rockstar moment of your school life when you used to win debates or quiz competitions with ease. This trip down the memory lane will boost your confidence and enhance your self-belief. It will ready you for tackling the next big challenge head on.

Worrying about future

Worrying does absolutely nothing worthwhile for anyone. Worrying about the future doesn’t make it bright, instead it causes damage to the present moment. Learn to replace the unnecessary worries and fears regarding the future with a shrewd plan – weigh your strengths and abilities and chalk out a strategy that guarantees maximum personal growth. Accept that certain external factors and unforeseen circumstances may disrupt some parts of that plan. But if you stay on track mostly, then you will be able to carve out a future that is great.

Remember, just like challenges, opportunities too emerge from unexpected quarters. So learn to tackle those problems with confidence but also stay open to the growth that will come along with these challenges.

Lack of gratitude

Practicing gratitude is like being on the highway to happiness. Being grateful for having great parents, for having teachers who impart sound knowledge, for having mentors who employ and teach how to pursue growth and success; reasons to be grateful are infinite.

Practicing gratitude helps focus on the positive aspects of life and on the things and people that you have. It liberates you from negative feelings and emotions and makes you mindful of the happiness the present moment offers. When you begin to practice gratefulness, you stop bemoaning your fate or lack of things. You start to understand that happiness has always been around, all you had to do was look.

Lack of self-care

Your happiness quotient is directly related to the time you reserve for self-care. To lead a blissful life, it is imperative to reserve some time to understand the needs of your mind, body and soul. If ignored for long, the body and mind tends to collapse or go through a breakdown which then takes a long time to recover from. A person who doesn’t take care of the self but keeps working for others has to deal with its consequences, sooner than later.

Self-care, which refers to the practice of allocating time to take informed action for holistic wellbeing is as necessary as breathing. Lack of self-care can result in serious physical ailments or psychological problems like stress and anxiety which cannot be put in the background once it hits.

To be truly happy, one must overcome the inertia of laziness when it comes to self-care. The roadblocks to happiness might be innumerable but a simple shift in perspective is all it takes to make the world a sunny place again!