Anger is one of the most destructive emotions, which, if left unchecked, could wreak havoc in our lives. Oftentimes, a surge of uncontrollable pent-up feelings could manifest in the form of anger and destroy your and your loved ones’ mental peace and happiness. Resentment is also closely related to anger, but it is a more complex and multidimensional emotion. Resentment usually occurs in the aftermath of a painful experience—real or perceived—such as injustice, unfair treatment, or being taken advantage of. These negative emotions are the nemeses of our mental well-being.
Modern psychology views anger as a natural and automatic response to physical or emotional pain. Howard Kassinove, anger-expert psychologist, and a fellow of the American Psychological Association explains, “Anger is associated with interpersonal conflicts, negative evaluations by others, erratic driving, property destruction, occupational maladjustment, inappropriate risk-taking, accidents, substance abuse, and so-called crimes of passion.” Moreover, regular incidents of anger could also lead to increased risks of heart disease, hypertension, insomnia and digestion problems among others.
Resentment is a mental process where we replay and re-live feelings of past hurts especially unresolved conflicts. It can cause significant issues to our mental and physical health. “When we hold on to grudges and resentment, it’s like drinking poison and expecting the other person to get sick,” says psychotherapist Angela Buttimer. She further explains, “Living in a chronic state of tension disables your body’s repair mechanisms, increasing inflammation and the stress hormone cortisol in the body.”
Anger and resentment could be disastrous to our wellbeing. Is there a way to ensure that we do not fall prey to them? The key is to simply let go of these negative emotions without allowing them to jeopardise our lives. Here are a few key points that can help us let go of anger and resentment for a stress-free life.
Acknowledge your emotions
When you are angry, do you acknowledge your emotions or bury them within? Acceptance of difficult emotions such as anger, resentment and hurt feelings might seem like a herculean task, but ignoring them doesn’t help either. If left unaddressed, they might reemerge and torment you when you least expect it. Acceptance, rather than denial, is one of the best ways to effectively let go of anger. When a certain situation—such as a difficult workplace meeting, or a gruelling ride in a crowded bus—triggers you and induces an angry response, try to maintain an awareness of that emotion. Accept that you are feeling angry instead of denying it. Try to analyse the emotion and what caused it to arise. Once you have identified your triggers, you can better control your responses to them in the future.
Anger and resentment, if left unchecked, can have serious negative impacts on mental and physical well-being. They can disrupt mental peace, harm relationships, and even lead to chronic stress.
Mindfulness meditation involves being fully present and aware of one’s thoughts, emotions, and sensations. By practicing mindfulness, individuals can observe their emotions, like anger, without immediately reacting to them.
Forgiveness is a powerful practice that allows individuals to let go of resentment and negative feelings. While the hurtful act may remain, forgiveness helps release the emotional burden associated with it.
Breathing techniques, such as slow and deep breathing, help manage anger by lowering heart rate and promoting relaxation. By controlling the physical responses associated with anger, individuals can reduce the intensity of their emotional reactions and approach situations with a calmer mindset.
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