Sister’s Day: Celebrating the bond between siblings

We may fight on the most trivial issues but will stand for each other whenever the need arises – that’s the beauty of having a sibling. The love, affection and support that one gets from a sibling can be more empowering than what they receive from their parents in some cases. Siblings are pillars of strength through childhood and adulthood. The connection that we are born with is special and can help us wade through the deepest of waters. Siblings understand each other, share common values and mindsets, and have each other’s back, in joy and sorrow alike.

Interestingly, as a part of a family unit, siblings often compete for parental attention and time. As a result they develop this unique ability to learn to adjust to resources. They say that family is our first learning ground. It is here that our behaviour is built. We learn to respond to situations and accommodate our siblings, rising above our immediate needs. While parents give us unconditional love and affection throughout our lives, siblings stand for each other, make each other emotionally strong and confident in the process.

Professor of human development and family studies at Utah State University Shawn Whiteman, PhD, says, “Brothers and sisters affect each other directly and indirectly. Siblings support and learn from one another. The sibling relationship has the ability to uniquely shape a child’s behaviour, adjustment, and wellbeing, for better and worse.” August 6th that is celebrated as Sister’s day is devoted to the extremely special siblings that sisters are. The relationship one shares with their sister is hard to emulate in other relationship.

Whether close in age or years apart, a sister tends to be caring, almost motherly in her love. As the growing up happens together, the experiences shared are same, thus leading to similar outlooks. A sister knows her sibling’s strengths and weaknesses and is like a friend, philosopher and guide, all rolled into one. “Sisters function as safety nets in a chaotic world simply by being there for each other,” says journalist and author Carol Saline.

We delve into the crucial role siblings play in shaping our lives and how sisters make life wonderful and secure for most of us.

Sibling influence on development

During early childhood, when the mind is at its most impressionable, family plays an instrumental role in development. While parents sow the seeds of values and learning, siblings facilitate and add to the process. Siblings play an important role in each other’s emotional development by providing companionship like friends. In the younger years, playing with siblings teach many skills like being a team player.

You tend to talk to them uninhibitedly while you may find it tough doing so with parents. Siblings teach you social skills like sharing and giving, conflict resolution and adapting to different personalities. 

Siblings as role models

Remember always wanting to wear your older sister’s clothes or eyeing their accessories? It’s a known fact that younger children often copy the way an older sibling talks and dresses. This could even be the cause for many battles while growing up.

Children usually try to imitate their elders in a quest to grow up and learn. They specially pick up the traits, habits and behaviour patterns of siblings. With some exceptions, a younger child usually takes to eating and writing, seeing older siblings doing the same. Older siblings thus set the tone in terms of behaviour patterns, interests and forming a persona in the younger ones.

It is indeed our siblings who impact the course of our lives and subconsciously become our chosen role models as much as our parents.

Siblings and support

Dr. Robert Waldinger, clinical professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, and his colleagues explored the influence of siblings in one’s life using data from the Harvard Study of Adult Development. Those having poorer relationships with their siblings at age 18 or above were found to have a greater vulnerability to major depression and use of mood-altering drugs by age 50.

While relationships that siblings share undergo a change in different phases of life, they still play a consistently substantial role. Interestingly, when as adults, we experience an empty nest and our children become independent, our siblings provide emotional support yet again in life. Loneliness is one of the major debilitating concerns for the elderly, so while the younger generation may be busy with responsibilities, it is the siblings who can provide support in old age as well.

Different situations and phases of life may place our siblings far away from us, but whether we spend time together or remain in touch through technology, they shape our lives. After parents, it can easily be termed as one of the purest bonds of love and support we find in this life. So call your sister or meet over a day of merriment to tell her how much you care on Sister’s Day.