Fearless living: Discovering the power of saying no

“Your kindness is something that makes us so proud of you. But sometimes, people take advantage of that,” Sybil’s mother said.

Sybil sat on the edge of her hostel bed. The room was quiet except for the sound of raindrops pattering on her window. Sybil’s tiny voice trembled as she spoke to her mother on the phone.

“Mummy, I can’t do this anymore,” she whispered, barely able to hold back her tears. “I don’t think I can take it. They… they keep making me do everything. Notes, cleaning their rooms, running errands. Every day. I’m so tired.”

On the other end, her mother, Mrs Pinto, sighed deeply. She could hear the pain in Sybil’s voice and it broke her heart. She knew her daughter was kind-hearted, gentle and always eager to help. Throughout her childhood, Sybil had been the kid that lent a hand, no matter what. She never turned anyone away. And though it made her parents proud, Mrs Pinto couldn’t help but worry; Sybil’s sweetness and her instinct to please others was now leaving her vulnerable.

“Sibi,” Mrs Pinto said softly. “I know you’ve always wanted to help people and your kindness is something that makes us so proud of you. But sometimes, people take advantage of that. You can’t let anyone treat you like this.”

Sybil wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, sniffling. “But… They said I have to do it if I want to be accepted. If I don’t do what they ask, they threaten me….”

Mrs Pinto took a deep breath and said, “Sibi, listen to me. We love you and you are a good girl. But it’s time to learn something important. It’s time to say no.”

Sybil stayed quiet as her mother continued. “There’s nothing wrong with saying no when someone is asking too much of you. You don’t have to please everyone, especially if they don’t respect you. You have to stand up for yourself. You are strong and your kindness should never be taken for granted.”

Sybil took a deep breath, trying to let her mother’s words sink in. For the first time in months, she felt a small flicker of hope. Her mother was right. Maybe she could stand up for herself. Maybe she didn’t have to let the bullying continue.

The next morning, as Sybil walked into the common room, her heart raced. Her seniors were sitting at the table, laughing and as usual, they turned their attention towards her.

“Hey, Sybil,” one of them called. “Could you go get us our sandwiches for breakfast? We’re really hungry.”

Sybil hesitated, her hands clutching her books a little extra tight. Then she tried to remember her mother’s words, took a deep breath and said, “I’m sorry,” she said, “I can’t do that.”

The room fell silent for a moment. Her seniors stared at her, surprised. There was a long pause and Sybil’s heart pounded in her chest. But then, to her surprise, one of the seniors shrugged and looked away.

“Fine, whatever,” she said, annoyed. But she didn’t press further.

Sybil’s heart raced. A sense of relief washed over her. She had done it. She had said no. She wasn’t sure what would happen next, but she knew that this moment was a small victory for her.

Later that day, as she sat in her room, Sybil called her mother again.

“Mummy, I did it. I said no and they listened.” Her mother cried out in happiness. Her child had learnt a very important life skill.

As the days passed, Sybil began to feel more confident in standing up for herself. She was learning to say no whenever necessary and with each day, the weight on her shoulders felt a little lighter. It wasn’t always easy, but she could see the change in herself — she was no longer the timid girl who always said yes. She had become the confident girl who knew exactly what she wanted to say.

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