In a relationship, who doesn’t want to feel validated, encouraged, or be taken care of by their partners? There is nothing wrong with seeking a bit of comfort or guidance when you feel stressed out or while facing certain challenges in life. But when this need passes the point of support wherein you depend on your partner for all your emotional needs, that is emotional dependency. If you are not careful, it can cripple your relationship and impact your overall wellbeing.
In her book, Emotional Dependency: Essential Steps in Overcoming Emotional Dependency, author Ester Novak writes, “Emotional dependence is dangerous, and even more so when we fail to recognise it in time to prevent its nefarious patterns. Depending on others for our happiness is to build a castle on shifting sands. You’re setting yourself up for failure and you’re setting yourself up for danger.”
In simple terms, when you become emotionally dependent, you stop taking responsibility for your own feelings. Emotionally dependent people don’t look for solutions on their own when they are distressed or upset, rather they depend on their loved ones to find the answers for them. This is not a good sign in any relationship as you are constantly seeking reassurance and support from your partner. Over time, these dependencies can even cause negative feelings such as jealousy, possessiveness, anxiety, et cetera. If you don’t notice these behaviours early on, you can become so attached to your partner that you won’t able to imagine a life without or away from them.
If you have observed such behaviours in yourself or your partner and are looking for solutions, here are a few ways to curb emotional dependency in a relationship.
Identify your triggers
The first step to eliminating emotional dependency is identifying what triggers this behaviour. For example, is it a stressful situation that makes you go looking for your partner for support? Does your self-esteem recede when you make a mistake and only assurances from your loved one can make you feel better? It is important to identify what causes such feelings to occur so you can take appropriate measures to deal with them.
Acknowledge your emotions
An effective way to stop being emotionally dependent in a relationship is to acknowledge all your emotions. Dependency often springs when your feelings are neglected. But when you accept and take responsibility for your emotions, no matter how unpleasant they are, you take a step towards making yourself whole again. You develop emotional awareness, which helps you differentiate between what you need and what you don’t. This also lets you know when things aren’t going well so that you can take the necessary measures to rectify them. This simple act can go a long way in helping you overcome emotional dependency.
Emotional dependency in a relationship occurs when one partner becomes overly reliant on the other for emotional support and validation.
Emotional dependency can negatively impact a relationship by creating feelings of jealousy, possessiveness, and anxiety.
It is normal and healthy to seek emotional support from your partner during challenging times. Sharing your feelings and seeking comfort from someone you trust can strengthen your bond and help you navigate through difficult situations together.
Emotional dependency can have a significant impact on a relationship. When one partner becomes excessively reliant on the other for emotional support and validation, it can create an unhealthy dynamic.
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