How to stop comparing your life to others

We can have anything we want, but we can’t have everything. Despite being aware of this, we obsess over what others have that we don’t. We compare our paycheques, houses, and even our appearances to those we barely know. We spend time thinking about the perfect lives of others while drowning ourselves in self-pity and a profuse sense of failure. Such habits can easily fool us into falling for the comparison trap, leaving us feeling inferior or depressed.

In the age of social media, this comparison trap has become even wider than ever. According to a study, “Social media generates ubiquitous comparison information and accessible feedback, such as the number of likes, followers, comments, and retweets. Information such as these allows people to form impressions of others quickly.” Another research suggests many use social media to find inspiration and to figure out their purpose in life. But in the process, they lose sight of their main objective and end up getting discouraged by the good fortunes of others. What follows next—as per the research—is they: “feel inadequate, have poorer self-evaluations and experience negative emotions”.

So, how do you stop comparing yourself to others? To get started, here are a few important tips to climb out of the comparison trap.

Shift your focus inward

Focusing on your goals means taking charge of your life, without blurring your vision by comparing your goals with others’. One way to do this would be to keep a daily journal of your routine, making a list of experiences you’d like to have, challenging yourself to try something new, and more. When you shift your focus towards yourself, you start living a more fulfilling life. The more you do this, the sooner you will stop comparing yourself to others, and enjoy what you have.

Count your blessings

To stop comparing yourself to others, make an effort to value what you have, and not be stressed about the things that you don’t. Be grateful for all the good things in your life. They could be your family, friends, or a job that you love. Gratitude prevents you from becoming unhappy and makes you appreciate your life. According to research, gratitude invites positive emotions that can have many physical benefits including “decreasing levels of the stress hormone cortisol and increasing oxytocin”—the bonding hormone that makes us feel good.

Compare yourself with you

Remember, to stop comparing yourself to others, your first and foremost goal is to become a better version of yourself. So, the only person you should be comparing yourself to is you. Ask yourself questions like, Am I growing? Am I learning? Am I getting closer to my goals? This introspection will help you measure your progress. Make sure to celebrate little victories and milestones in your life—they go a long way in keeping you motivated and focused. You need to create your own definition of success. This way, you can live life on your own terms, without needing outside approval.