In life, it’s almost inevitable that we will encounter unpleasant experiences, those that may leave us feeling upset, hurt and bitter. Whether it’s a disagreement with a friend, a conflict with a neighbour or a misunderstanding with a loved one, these incidents can linger in our minds for long, leading us to hold grudges.
But holding grudges only prolongs our own pain and suffering. It keeps us trapped in a cycle of negativity and prevents us from moving on. As American educator and orator Booker T Washington states, “Holding a grudge does not hurt the person against whom the grudge is held, it hurts the one who holds it.” This quote highlights that grudges do not harm others but us, only us.
One notable study on the harmful effects of holding grudges was conducted by Dr Karen Swartz, a psychiatrist and director of the Mood Disorders Adult Consultation Clinic at Johns Hopkins Hospital. Dr Swartz’s research found that holding onto grudges can lead to increased feelings of anger, anxiety and depression in people.
World Forgiveness Day is celebrated on the 7th of July. This day encourages people to let go of grudges and past hurts. It also highlights the importance of empathy and compassion in building a happier world. On this day, join us as we explore the power of forgiveness and why letting go of grudges and hatred is good for you.
Certain incidents from the past can leave us feeling bitter. For instance, it can be an argument with a parent or sibling or a falling out with a friend. These experiences can cast a shadow over our relationships and make it difficult for us to move forward. However, when we choose to let go of grudges towards some of our dearest people and forgive them, we start to heal and make way for healthier relationships. Letting go of grudges is like opening a window to let the fresh air and sunshine in.
There are times when you keep replaying negative incidents in your mind and find yourself feeling upset, stressed and angry. For instance, a teacher unwittingly made a hurtful comment about your project or maybe a classmate laughed at you while you were already feeling vulnerable. These experiences can leave anyone feeling bitter, harbouring feelings of hatred.
Holding onto grudges like these can feel like carrying a heavy boulder. It weighs you down, making everything feel more difficult than it needs to be. But when you release the grip from those grudges, suddenly, your life feels lighter. You feel happier and less stressed. Now that is something worth holding on to!
Having a calm mind and heart is not something out of a fairytale. If you learn to cultivate it, there are numerous health benefits you can enjoy. Some advantages of having a calm demeanour is—you feel more relaxed, sleep better and enjoy your time with loved ones more deeply. In contrast, when you hold onto resentment and grudges, it robs you of that sense of overall peace.
Letting go of grudges allows you to unburden yourself and embrace a life that is light and only filled with calm and joy.
Letting go of grudges allows us to free ourselves from the burden of resentment. It can also lead to improved mental and emotional wellbeing.
Letting go of grudges can help you have healthier relationships, improve mental health, reduce stress and anxiety.
You can let go of grudges by practicing forgiveness and focusing on the present moment and seeking support from friends, family or a therapist.
Holding onto grudges can lead to feelings of anger, resentment and can even negatively impact your health in the long run.
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